In this blog post, we will explore the vital concept that is ‘co-regulation’- what it is, why it is important and practical ways that you can foster strong, lifelong bonds with your little one.
What is co-regulation?
In simple terms, co-regulation is the process of using someone else to regulate your emotions or behaviours. In babies and children, it involves an adult helping a child to settle in times of stress. A caregiver supports an infant or child to move from a dysregulated state to a regulated state.
Co-regulation starts in utero, when a foetus is calmed by hearing parent’s voices, or is settled by gentle movement. The walls of the uterus provide external support, safety, and containment, all playing a part in co-regulation.
Co-regulations forms the foundation for secure attachment, which is crucial for a child’s overall wellbeing.
Why is it important?
Not only is co-regulation crucial for optimising the environment for brain development, it is also a building block in developing self-regulation. It helps little ones lay the foundations of how to process and manage their own feelings and emotions.
Self-regulation is the ability to manages one’s own emotions and feelings. As adults, most of us have the ability to regulate ourselves without external support. That doesn’t mean that we don’t still co-regulate- a cuddle, hug, stroke, pat, eye contact, offloading to friends… this is all co-regulation. We use others to help us stay regulated.
Self-regulation is recognised for it’s foundational role in promoting wellbeing across the lifespan, including educational achievement and physical, emotional, social and economic health.
Adult caregivers (parents, family, teachers and anyone else playing an influential part in a child’s life) all play a critical role in shaping and supporting self-regulation development from birth to young adulthood through the process of co-regulation. We cannot learn to self-regulate without co-regulation.
Baby co-regulation
When babies are born, they do not have the ability to self-regulate. Co-regulatory support encompasses a large proportion of their needs- they need us to feed them when they are hungry, help them sleep when they are tired, give cuddles when they are overwhelmed or overstimulated, monitor their temperatures and clothe them as required, adjust environment such as noise, temperature, and lighting as appropriate to meet their needs. They rely on caregiver co-regulation.
A baby’s brain can only grow and develop when they are appropriately regulated. A regulated state is having the right energy or stimulus for a given situation. If babies are dysregulated or stressed, it is not an environment for optimal development. Research tells us that neonatal stress impacts heavily on brain development. For this reason, it is vital that we, as parents, support our babies via cue-based, responsive caregiving.
How can we support our babies to co-regulate?
Babies, especially those within the first 3 months post-birth, are still transitioning to their new world. They are used to being in the womb; a quiet, dark, contained space. Anything we can do to support co-regulation will help to ease that transition.
In order to optimise co-regulation, we need to ensure that we are fostering secure attachment via:
Responsive caregiving- watch for baby’s cues and offering support and comfort (cue-based care), helping to develop emotional security.
Positive interactions- face-to-face interactions help to build neural pathways that support emotional resilience and social skills. Babies learn to communicate by watching us; facial expressions, body language, turn taking etc all foster communication skills.
Skin-to-skin or kangaroo care- is vital to for co-regulation. Physical touch releases oxytocin, promoting strong connections between infant and caregiver. It is also shown to help establish milk supply in nursing mothers.
Soothing- rocking, stroking, cuddling, singing, talking, interacting, smiling, shhing, bouncing, patting (the list goes on) are all examples of co-regulation to create comfort.
Routine- predictability creates a sense of security for babies. Consistent patterns, behaviours and cues for your baby help them to develop regulation skills.
Summary
It’s important to remember that our babies cannot self-regulate their behaviours and emotions and that they need us for co-regulation. Understanding regulation can help us to appreciate why our babies want to be close to us at all times.
So go ahead, soak up all the cuddles, skin-to-skin, contact naps and baby wearing. Take the time to observe and interact with your baby. Watch their behaviours and learn about their individual cues. In doing so, you are not only providing a safe and secure environment for your little one to grow and develop, but you are laying the foundations for a lifetime of emotional wellbeing and healthy relationships.
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